finished listening to Ken Gire's book on Divine Intimacy. On the whole the book has made me greatly yet happily uncomfortable as to where I am today with my communion with Jesus. I spent a few minutes today just trying to soak in His affection. I used visualization putting my head on His breast much like John did. It was excellent.
One thought that I've been pondering from the book is Gire's gentle contention that Jesus needs to have intimacy with us. I think He struggles with the word "need' and I think what he is saying is that Jesus longs to give us of Himself. When we don't seek His face, we grieve Him not in the sense of anger but of longing to love as a Father wants to love and give to his child. I agree with Gire's thought and it is helping me to understand to give and take.
Remember the breath prayer of "Help me to pray what is on my heart"? He is answering it oh so well. I look forward to more growth and discomfort.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Been 10 days... Shows where I was emotionally
Simple if/then here, If Andy doesn't blog, he's not in top spiritual mindset.
I've been struggling with not having the deeper desire to do meditative prayer and thus started shutting myself down to thinking in this forum. But I realize that I just need to confess where I am and how I feel and let Jesus do his work in this regard.
Been listening to a delightful book called the Divine Embrace by Ken Gire. It takes you through how we respond to Jesus' overtures to love him. I'll write more on that towards the end of the month.
I realize now that my breath prayer of praying what's on my heart has a sub prayer... That has to do with bottling up my emotions, and I think especially repressed anger. Growing up a redhead, my anger was always near the surface. I learned to neatly tuck away negative emotions with all sorts of pacifiers including not thinking about it, laughing at myself. While the latter can be a way to release anger and such, it may be only a burying action at times.
So, I've been asking for Him to help me why I bury particulars and help release those items that are buried in my heart. One of the more transparent modes of anger is my driving. I'm always in a hurry to get to where I'm going and thus when drivers aren't driving up to my standards, I get angry with them. It's a stupid thing to do but it is also a 25 year habit. I've improved but have not been delivered. The driving is only an exposure of the need to be in control of my time which is an exposure of perhaps the workload I carry. Anyway, there's a cycle of repentance and healing that is going to happen here.
I've been struggling with not having the deeper desire to do meditative prayer and thus started shutting myself down to thinking in this forum. But I realize that I just need to confess where I am and how I feel and let Jesus do his work in this regard.
Been listening to a delightful book called the Divine Embrace by Ken Gire. It takes you through how we respond to Jesus' overtures to love him. I'll write more on that towards the end of the month.
I realize now that my breath prayer of praying what's on my heart has a sub prayer... That has to do with bottling up my emotions, and I think especially repressed anger. Growing up a redhead, my anger was always near the surface. I learned to neatly tuck away negative emotions with all sorts of pacifiers including not thinking about it, laughing at myself. While the latter can be a way to release anger and such, it may be only a burying action at times.
So, I've been asking for Him to help me why I bury particulars and help release those items that are buried in my heart. One of the more transparent modes of anger is my driving. I'm always in a hurry to get to where I'm going and thus when drivers aren't driving up to my standards, I get angry with them. It's a stupid thing to do but it is also a 25 year habit. I've improved but have not been delivered. The driving is only an exposure of the need to be in control of my time which is an exposure of perhaps the workload I carry. Anyway, there's a cycle of repentance and healing that is going to happen here.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Ordinary Things
I've been thinking a lot about how the ordinary things in life are really not to be excluded from the presence of God. I'm just beginning to explore how it is expected that we commune with Him during Dishes, Driving, interacting with the Kids, and dare I say it... even with husband/wife intimacy.
The basis for all this is that we:
Bring everything to God in prayer: Phil 4:4-6; Ephesians 5:17
Now I'm not talking about talking during those times but to treat all experiences as Holy. When we believe them as holy and that God is present in them, then we automatically enter into communion with God.
Breathe Prayer #3: Help me to see the Ordinary as Holy communion with you.
The basis for all this is that we:
Bring everything to God in prayer: Phil 4:4-6; Ephesians 5:17
Now I'm not talking about talking during those times but to treat all experiences as Holy. When we believe them as holy and that God is present in them, then we automatically enter into communion with God.
Breathe Prayer #3: Help me to see the Ordinary as Holy communion with you.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Who's work is it to progress in prayer?
Another new prayer thought is that just like any other internal work, prayer is also God's workmanship.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Why have I always thought that progression in prayer was my responsibility? It's His work to bring me along in communication. All I need to do is wait on Him and watch as He gives me more of Himself.
Ephesians 2:10 For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Why have I always thought that progression in prayer was my responsibility? It's His work to bring me along in communication. All I need to do is wait on Him and watch as He gives me more of Himself.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
The Great Hercules Cluster; new camera someday...
I've finally gotten some success with my Canon D30 Digital camera. My latest venture can be seen here: M13. With the help of family presents for Father's Day/Birthday and selling other astro equipment, I should have a Canon Digital Rebel XT by the end of the year. I've asked Val and the kids to just make donations to my camera fund instead of presents. I've got $200 saved up and need $800. It took me 11 minutes to capture M13 with my D30; with an XT it would be 30 seconds.
Sermon change; more on Breath Prayer
Well, I tried to force my hand over God's and continue on with my Sit, Walk, Stand sermon but the Spirit has other ideas. So I'm going with "The Practicalities and Principles of Simple Prayer."
It's been exciting watching myself grow prayer-wise the last couple of months. What has really surprised me is that using my breath prayer throughout the day, I'm seeing an atmosphere of God's presence being created.
Another breath prayer that I added was with a new thought to me, It's not so much how God is in our life but how we are involved with His life. So my latest breath prayer is:
"Father, show me how I fit into your life."
It's a revolutionary thought for me.
It's been exciting watching myself grow prayer-wise the last couple of months. What has really surprised me is that using my breath prayer throughout the day, I'm seeing an atmosphere of God's presence being created.
Another breath prayer that I added was with a new thought to me, It's not so much how God is in our life but how we are involved with His life. So my latest breath prayer is:
"Father, show me how I fit into your life."
It's a revolutionary thought for me.
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